some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
