Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
