dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
