She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
