my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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