Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sext me about skeletons
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
