i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
