They should really pass out barf bags in church
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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