im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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