What a fucking waste of an outfit
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
