So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
