i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
