carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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