...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
