how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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