Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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