I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
