do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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