dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
