That's intense
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
