He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
