She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
