mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
