He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
