The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The Olympian is in my bed
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
