in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
