I puked a lego.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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