I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is that strawberry winking at me??
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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