Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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