Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and she was petting her beer can
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
