piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
