I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
