Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
