Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
