last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
