When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
