I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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