I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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