I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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