absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
