so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
