There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
