i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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