So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I could fuck to npr.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
