No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
