it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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