so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish you could order shots online.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
