Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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