Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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