Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
