Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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