Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize