I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
