there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
