Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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