So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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