You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
