i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
did i walk over a car last night?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
