Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
