I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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