I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize