Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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