Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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