I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't deserve a penis
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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