8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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