Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
