We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
